From Book "Empoerment"
BLOG Published May 30, 2023
Assertiveness is that middle way between passive and aggressive, hiding and being pushy, holding back and forcing outcomes. It is a balancing skill, just like walking a balance beam. It takes practice and having good examples is very helpful.
To be assertive you speak up when needed and speak honestly, act boldly and in alignment with your truth. A passive person will either not speak up or be sneaky, manipulative, beat around the bush whereas an aggressive person will be demanding, pushy, try to get their way or prove their point whether they dominate another or not. They don’t care about the other person, just about getting their way… like a 2 year old.
Assertive people don’t have any need or desire to control or dominate others, they don’t care if others judge them. They care about living their truth and honoring and encouraging others to also live their truth, even when it is something different from what they believe.
An assertive person is masterful when someone tries to be aggressive or passive. They are not swayed or disturbed by the domineering personalities and hold their ground while standing in their truth. They can say “No thank you” 100 times to a pushy person trying to convince them to see their point of view or dominate them to give them what they want. And they can do it without getting upset or triggered, just a calm, “No thank you” They care more about honoring their heart than pleasing others. It is easier with passive people because assertive people will simply follow their truth, do what is in alignment in the moment with their heart and if a passive person cannot express their own truth, then assertive people simply honor where they are at without the need to change or judge them. Passive aggressive people are a bit trickier, yet assertive people cut right through manipulation by following their intuition powerfully. They become an example to the aggressive and passive personalities showing them what it looks to be assertive, practicing an empowered way of being, aligned with their truth, standing in their integrity, in love with themselves.