Not Allowing Oneself to be Dominated

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Allowing yourself to be dominated is a disempowered way of being and reflects insecurity and a lack of self-love and respect. Often in the name of wanting to please another, gain acceptance or avoid disapproval we allow others to dominate us. I know from experience because for years in my youth and adulthood I allowed others to dominate me. I had a very dominating sibling who for years succeeded in controlling me. It became a tendency within me and dominating people could sense that I was easily controlled, hence, many of my childhood friends and some early boyfriends dominant. When we allow others to tell us what to do and we do it even if it doesn’t feel true to our own heart, we sell out on ourselves. To allow others to control or dominate us reveals a disempower way in us that we care more about what others think than what we think. That we are not strong enough to allow someone to disapprove of us, even when we are simply following our truth. We are confused about our source and falsely believe our source is external rather than internal. Honor and please the Source within not external people, organizations and influences.

 

A very wise women told me that when she is asked to do something, she always tells them she will think about it. Every once in a while she will get a domineering person who push’s her for an immediate answer, or rather the answer they want. In those cases, she always tells them, “If you want an answer now it is no, or negative.” And she sticks to it. It is a very empowering way to deal with pushy and domineering people who try to disrespect boundaries of others and force their will on them.

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When you care more about what others think of you than loving yourself and honoring what you think and your truth, then you have lost yourself and will be prey to domineering people who will disrespect your boundaries and take advantage of your kindness.

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No one can be empowered when they have lost themselves. When you live for others, live to please others at the cost of your own self, you become spiritually bankrupt. No one wants anyone to disapprove of them, to dislike them or remove their love from them, yet it is far, far more devastating to the soul to sell out and withhold love from the self. It takes maturity and courage to stand up for the self and not allow yourself to be dominated or controlled. To set healthy boundaries and enforce those boundaries.

 

If someone gets upset with you for following your truth, then they are not a true friend and it was good to find that out sooner than later.

Healthy people and true friends will not try to control and dominate you against your will. They will not get upset with you for not doing what they want… they will honor your choice and encourage you to do what is true for you. They will accept your decision even if isn’t what they wanted and still love and adore you just the same. If they don’t and they get mad at you, criticize you or put you down for not agreeing with them then you have gained some powerful information about who they are.

 

Then you can be empowered to set boundaries, to be grateful that they showed their true colors and you are able to weed out or create safe distances with untrue friends. Having false friends is a drain and true friends do not dominate.

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If you have had a habit of allowing yourself to be controlled or dominated and have become aware of this disempowering way of being, take the courage to stand up for yourself no matter what… honoring and loving yourself and your truth first. You will quickly find out who your true friends are when you gain the courage and empowerment to stand up for yourself.

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JJD 3