Empowered Responsibility

 

This is a tricky one, empowering and disempowering ways of being around intellectual and emotional responsibility take many forms. When you are not accountable for your own stuff, mentally and emotionally speaking, you cannot heal and grow. Because our world reflects our minds, you will see that people who are not responsible for their emotional impact are also not responsible for their physical things and commitments. Bills may be late, work is procrastinated, toys left outside to rust, house dirty or having a chronic problem of not keeping their word. Taking responsibility for our consciousness, committed to our word, being responsible for our environment whether in a state of physical order or disorder, is power… with power come responsibility. Only when we become responsible can we evolve our consciousness and grow.

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Disempowered chronic ways of being like blaming and faulting, pointing our fingers, playing the victim, withholding our love, irritation, will take ever changing forms. The form changes, but what we want to unveil is the original wound. We often get distracted by the form, tempted to buy in and sell out on our happiness… judging the other, whether a person, organization or situation and not looking deeper for where we have co-created the upsetting situation. What the lesson is for us, what we need to heal and surrender in order to be free.

We are disempowered when we fail to look for how we have co-created the circumstance. How we are projecting, refusing to look within to heal our inner wounds, or how we are disempowered in the circumstance and not taking responsibility for our part.

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What often stops us is not wanting to blame or shame ourselves, because we feel shame… and all shame towards the self is unjust and a lie. We confuse taking responsibility with taking on fault when it is about learning and growing powerfully. Taking responsibility may be as simple as… rather than believing someone else is judging us, noticing and learning where we are judging others or where we are judging ourselves. If we can take responsibility for where we are disempowered in the situation, without blaming or faulting ourselves or another, we can shift into being more and more empowered.

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In most all circumstances that are upsetting there is a co-creation. If you witness a drama and you are not upset by it, it doesn’t trigger you then you can simply let it go, you don’t have any work to do. When we exist in witness, simply being the neutral observer, we refuse to engage in the drama, instead we choose to experience our present moment as neutral, content and peaceful. In this sense you are not dealing with a inner wound. You are simply witnessing a dynamic interaction in the energy field external to you. You are in a state of mind, a space and place that is steps back from the physical, Looking upon the situation from a more distant perspective, through a higher aspect of your mind, the vijnanomaya kosha.

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However, if a circumstance occurs and you feel triggered in any form, worry, hurt, offended, jealous, upset and you cannot let it go… if you get drawn into the drama and perpetuate the upset, then it has triggered something in you, a wound or hurt that needs healing and release.

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Yes, there are unkind people who do unkind things, yet an empowered person doesn’t take it personal and doesn’t engage in the drama. They may have a moment of WTF, but they let it go and enjoy their day. A disempowered person will get pulled into the upset, become triggered from their own wounds, engage in an outer or inner criticism, complaining, judging, victim conversation. There is nothing empowering about engaging in a pain loop with the voice of the ego mind or outward conversation repeating the disempowering story over and over again as a co-creator in the upsetting situation.

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After a break-up in a relationship, I would often have a inner voice that would be ranting consistently about how the other person was wrong, re-tell the many tales of his rejection. Lots of story and detail but the bottom line is that when I listened to this voice, I took no responsibility for my part in the relationship… and everything is always co-created. Maybe if I listen deeper to these voices, they will help me to release and heal something within me?

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Maybe a focus on being honestly responsibility for my part and how I can choose differently and higher more empowered responses in all my relationships. To ponder on my appreciation for the great times, the gifts of service he provided and the growth our relationship provided both our souls.

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Without taking responsibility you cannot allow the contrast and struggle to be a teaching experience. You cannot expect to allow the experience to expand you, shine you up, to learn and grow from it until you become responsible for your part in it and move beyond and higher. The lessons begin when you step up to see your part, becoming responsible for your actions, witnessing higher ways to handle it in the future and ultimately letting it go and moving on in peace.

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You don’t necessarily need to even do anything, unless guided, in order to be responsible. Sometimes you can realize where you have been responsible for a disempowering way of being that may have caused tense relationships, and powerfully choose to let those ways go, let the victim go and committing to shift into your power now with the one you are with.

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Empowered people use life and all its contrasts as opportunities to learn and grow, shine you up to be a more radiant being rather than shriviling up a bitter old person pointing fingers of blame at everyone.

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JJD3